The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. — Maya Angelou

What does it mean to be present? Giving someone or something your full attention, without distraction. In that moment, the moment is all you have and all that matters. What your or someone else is going to say or do next is not important. What you or someone else said or did a few minutes ago is not important. Your focus is on this moment now and that is all that matters. We have all experienced moments of being fully present, completely focused. It may have been for a minute or for hours. It may happen once in a while or on a regular basis. This skill is important in many professions and sports. A mountain climber is not thinking about a conversation from the night before while looking for the next hand hold. A surgeon is not thinking about tomorrow’s patient in the middle of today’s procedure. As a singer, I have been on stage, in a song so completely that I forget where I am.

Most of us can tell right away when someone is not present. They may be going through the motions of paying attention, but you can see them thinking about what they are going to say next while appearing to listen to you. The most obvious lack of presence is when someone who is providing a service to you is talking to someone else. My expectation of connection from a service provider, beyond what is just good customer service, varies depending on the service. I don’t really mind if a supermarket checkout person is not fully present with me, as long as they are paying attention and still doing their job. However, if I have a problem and go to customer service; I expect them to really listen to me. I have an even higher expectation from a healthcare provider. I expect eye contact. I expect them to listen to my questions and be patient if I ask for clarification.

In caregiving, being present means giving your full attention to the person for whom you are providing care. It is the first step in connecting with a person and building a caring relationship. Many who are called to this kind of work, do this naturally. For others, it is a skill that can be learned and developed. The first step is in becoming aware of the difference between being present and not just being in someone’s presence.

I have learned the importance of being present as an effective approach to caregiving in my 30 years working in healthcare. In this Blog, I will share stories of using the approach of Being Present, from both my personal and professional experiences with caregiving. My intention is to share insights, successes and failures to help others become more successful in the very difficult job of caregiving, whether you are caring for a loved one or you have chosen caregiving as a profession.

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Barbara